Today I was on a celebrity's social media site, browsing the comments underneath a picture she posted speaking out against abortion, and I was honestly surprised by the thousands of hateful comments she got. People were angry and defensive and so sure in their belief that sometimes abortion was the best choice. At first I just felt sad and mad and all the feelings I can't help but feel when confronted with the fact that we are killing babies that should be living.
But this one sentiment kept jumping out at me from the comments:
"All the pro-lifers acting as if they're better. You're really just pro-birth because if you cared about LIFE, you would be enriching the lives of people already here. You'd adopt, volunteer, etc. You don't give two shits about those babies that are born and then given to foster families to get raped and beaten. Until you all are actually dong something good for those kids' lives, stfu."
"Pro-lifers mainly care about the cell sack instead of the person carrying it. Like what if they don't want to have the baby? They shouldn't be forced to go through with it. Don't say that they can put in adoption because there are over 500,000 children that are still unadopted."
"Birth is beautiful but who is advocating for at-risk children born to women considering abortion? Statistically, low income, low-education and high stress have detrimental affects on babies and children. Please advocate social programs and support. It's one thing to see a baby to full term but another to have programs to protect children to become successful adults. Paid maternity leave, school integration, affordable daycare, etc. are programs political groups who support pro-life deny women every day."
"Judgement doesn't help those who choose this option, it doesn't give them a better solution. You're only telling them they're wrong, which in itself is wrong. Every time I go to volunteer at my local shelter I pass by these old preachers outside an abortion clinic. They offer no help, no sympathy and no alternate solutions for the women in this predicament or the unborn child."
And really in some ways, they're right, aren't they? Because it's easy for me to sit in my comfortable living room with my steady paycheck and my supportive husband while I judge and vilify and declare things I'd never do, because I've never been in a place where abortion made any sense. I've never looked into the sad eyes of children I loved fiercely but couldn't afford to feed and wondered why I should make them sacrifice even more for a brother or sister they didn't ask for. I've never had to say goodbye to my dreams of the perfect little family because I was staring at a test that wasn't supposed to be positive after a one-night stand I regretted with a boy I didn't love. I've never cried myself to sleep because I was growing a life inside of me I wasn't ready for.
We're telling people who don't necessarily want a baby to have a baby, and that's a big deal, a life-altering decision. I get that most of them had choices along the way, choices about sexual partners and protection - but those choices have already been made. We can promise to further education and promote prevention, but right here, right now we're asking this life and death decision to be made by bright young college students, single moms barely scraping by, scared 14-year olds, drug addicts, CEO's and abused women in broken marriages. So are we ready to face the consequences? Are we ready to be there for these people when they make the courageous decision to choose life?
Are we ready to raise a generation that truly believes every single person is valuable. Because if we're preaching about the value of thousands of unborn babies we have to believe they're valuable no matter who they're born to and who they become. And our kids see us. They see us rolling our eyes at the disruptive bully in their kindergarten class that doesn't know how to be kind because he's never been shown. They see the side-eyes we give to the cashier covered in tattoos and piercings and the teenager with baggy pants and a foul mouth. They hear our commentary on riots and gay pride parades and reduced lunches and immigration laws and they learn that somehow our skin color and our upbringing and our income level affect our worth. And we have to teach them that worth is so much deeper than all that. It's okay to stand up for what's right, and it's okay to want better for people, but we have to remember that the same hands that molded us molded them, and because of that, they are intrinsically valuable. We have to smile at them in the street and invite them into our churches. We have to love them without conditions and reservations, without pride or pity.
Are we ready to take a deeper look and more responsibility for a foster system that was described by a social worker as "so broken that to heal it would take far more than the casts that heal the literal broken bones of the children growing up within it." (A). Because sometimes unwanted babies turn into unwanted children that spend their entire lives feeling unwanted, growing up in an environment that seems to foster homelessness and unemployment and teen pregnancy and prison and PTSD at a rate higher than war veterans (B). We are standing by while kids age out of our systems without ever belonging to anyone. It's an enormous, heart-breaking problem I have no idea how to fix. In my own life, I want to do something but I'm scared to do much...I'm scared to open my home to the unknown when I have two beautiful, amazing children of my own to raise. That's why I have so much respect for those I know who do. We can't keep asking these women to have these children if we're closing our eyes while those same children are breaking all around us. We have to find a way to be the hands and feet of Christ for children that are desperately longing for someone to prove to them the Father to the Fatherless isn't just a fairy tale.
Are we ready to give our money graciously and generously to these babies we're fighting for the right to feed and clothe? Are we ready to buy Christmas presents for an Angel Tree kid without judging their requests or patting ourselves on the back? Are we ready to stand in line behind a women with five kids in a shopping cart buying groceries with food stamps and be okay with that? Are we ready to buy school supplies to give underprivileged kids a fighting chance to succeed? Because in a sense, we're telling these families we'd rather do that than live with the alternative.
Are we ready to offer to babysit for that family with special needs kids so they can have a break? Are we ready to include the young, single mom in our Bible Studies without throwing stones? Are we ready to go out and share the love of Christ so these babies made in the image of God can have hope for eternity no matter what they face here in their temporary homes? Are we ready to promise that when these tiny beating hearts turn into bigger, harder, more complicated hearts, we'll still care? Because if we're not ready to promise that, then really what's the point?
(A) http://www.scarymommy.com/articles/the-child-i-didnt-adopt?section=adoption&u=T2Tuj232CV
(B) http://www.cnn.com/2014/04/16/opinion/soronen-foster-children/
But this one sentiment kept jumping out at me from the comments:
"All the pro-lifers acting as if they're better. You're really just pro-birth because if you cared about LIFE, you would be enriching the lives of people already here. You'd adopt, volunteer, etc. You don't give two shits about those babies that are born and then given to foster families to get raped and beaten. Until you all are actually dong something good for those kids' lives, stfu."
"Pro-lifers mainly care about the cell sack instead of the person carrying it. Like what if they don't want to have the baby? They shouldn't be forced to go through with it. Don't say that they can put in adoption because there are over 500,000 children that are still unadopted."
"Birth is beautiful but who is advocating for at-risk children born to women considering abortion? Statistically, low income, low-education and high stress have detrimental affects on babies and children. Please advocate social programs and support. It's one thing to see a baby to full term but another to have programs to protect children to become successful adults. Paid maternity leave, school integration, affordable daycare, etc. are programs political groups who support pro-life deny women every day."
"Judgement doesn't help those who choose this option, it doesn't give them a better solution. You're only telling them they're wrong, which in itself is wrong. Every time I go to volunteer at my local shelter I pass by these old preachers outside an abortion clinic. They offer no help, no sympathy and no alternate solutions for the women in this predicament or the unborn child."
And really in some ways, they're right, aren't they? Because it's easy for me to sit in my comfortable living room with my steady paycheck and my supportive husband while I judge and vilify and declare things I'd never do, because I've never been in a place where abortion made any sense. I've never looked into the sad eyes of children I loved fiercely but couldn't afford to feed and wondered why I should make them sacrifice even more for a brother or sister they didn't ask for. I've never had to say goodbye to my dreams of the perfect little family because I was staring at a test that wasn't supposed to be positive after a one-night stand I regretted with a boy I didn't love. I've never cried myself to sleep because I was growing a life inside of me I wasn't ready for.
We're telling people who don't necessarily want a baby to have a baby, and that's a big deal, a life-altering decision. I get that most of them had choices along the way, choices about sexual partners and protection - but those choices have already been made. We can promise to further education and promote prevention, but right here, right now we're asking this life and death decision to be made by bright young college students, single moms barely scraping by, scared 14-year olds, drug addicts, CEO's and abused women in broken marriages. So are we ready to face the consequences? Are we ready to be there for these people when they make the courageous decision to choose life?
Are we ready to raise a generation that truly believes every single person is valuable. Because if we're preaching about the value of thousands of unborn babies we have to believe they're valuable no matter who they're born to and who they become. And our kids see us. They see us rolling our eyes at the disruptive bully in their kindergarten class that doesn't know how to be kind because he's never been shown. They see the side-eyes we give to the cashier covered in tattoos and piercings and the teenager with baggy pants and a foul mouth. They hear our commentary on riots and gay pride parades and reduced lunches and immigration laws and they learn that somehow our skin color and our upbringing and our income level affect our worth. And we have to teach them that worth is so much deeper than all that. It's okay to stand up for what's right, and it's okay to want better for people, but we have to remember that the same hands that molded us molded them, and because of that, they are intrinsically valuable. We have to smile at them in the street and invite them into our churches. We have to love them without conditions and reservations, without pride or pity.
Are we ready to take a deeper look and more responsibility for a foster system that was described by a social worker as "so broken that to heal it would take far more than the casts that heal the literal broken bones of the children growing up within it." (A). Because sometimes unwanted babies turn into unwanted children that spend their entire lives feeling unwanted, growing up in an environment that seems to foster homelessness and unemployment and teen pregnancy and prison and PTSD at a rate higher than war veterans (B). We are standing by while kids age out of our systems without ever belonging to anyone. It's an enormous, heart-breaking problem I have no idea how to fix. In my own life, I want to do something but I'm scared to do much...I'm scared to open my home to the unknown when I have two beautiful, amazing children of my own to raise. That's why I have so much respect for those I know who do. We can't keep asking these women to have these children if we're closing our eyes while those same children are breaking all around us. We have to find a way to be the hands and feet of Christ for children that are desperately longing for someone to prove to them the Father to the Fatherless isn't just a fairy tale.
Are we ready to give our money graciously and generously to these babies we're fighting for the right to feed and clothe? Are we ready to buy Christmas presents for an Angel Tree kid without judging their requests or patting ourselves on the back? Are we ready to stand in line behind a women with five kids in a shopping cart buying groceries with food stamps and be okay with that? Are we ready to buy school supplies to give underprivileged kids a fighting chance to succeed? Because in a sense, we're telling these families we'd rather do that than live with the alternative.
Are we ready to offer to babysit for that family with special needs kids so they can have a break? Are we ready to include the young, single mom in our Bible Studies without throwing stones? Are we ready to go out and share the love of Christ so these babies made in the image of God can have hope for eternity no matter what they face here in their temporary homes? Are we ready to promise that when these tiny beating hearts turn into bigger, harder, more complicated hearts, we'll still care? Because if we're not ready to promise that, then really what's the point?
(A) http://www.scarymommy.com/articles/the-child-i-didnt-adopt?section=adoption&u=T2Tuj232CV
(B) http://www.cnn.com/2014/04/16/opinion/soronen-foster-children/
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